Instagram Blog – Maria Turner Therapy Services

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Having things in writing can be very important and

Having things in writing can be very important and helpful. If you are meeting someone in person and they tend to have some unhealthy relational patterns … meet with a witness.

Let’s talk about trauma bonding ❤️‍🩹

Let’s talk about trauma bonding ❤️‍🩹

Emotional Access

Emotional Access

Most people who struggle with consistent urges of

Most people who struggle with consistent urges of relational reassurance seeking wish they could just turn it off like a light switch. There may not be a quick light switch intervention fix but this is something that can be managed with support and guidance.

There should be shared air space for speaking …

There should be shared air space for speaking … and when one is speaking the other is being attentive, **listening to what other is saying and expressing.

As soon as you hear the words “I can’t…” q

As soon as you hear the words “I can’t…” quickly pivot to “what can I do” this will help you stay out of a victim mindset.

Friendships can be tricky for women with ADHD. Whe

Friendships can be tricky for women with ADHD. When someone is not in your consistent peripheral vision it can lead to friendships going dormant. The heart still desires the connection but the brain firing for that is not always accessible.

Those with ADHD tend to do better with friends who are part of their weekly activities: workout class, church, life group, work, school, kids activities …

Social media has some positives for those with ADHD. Social media allows for friends to stay in their peripheral vision , of course that only works if their friends are active on social media.

So if you know someone with ADHD … be gentle with them, they may not be intentionally dismissing you ♥️. If you have ADHD be gentle with yourself … saying your a “bad friend” is not helpful. Have realistic expectations for yourself.

Let’s talk about what is NOT the definition of i

Let’s talk about what is NOT the definition of intimidation ☺️. Intimidation:to make timid or fearful : frighten. especially : to compel or deter by or as if by threats

Feeling wounded by someone in our medical team can

Feeling wounded by someone in our medical team can feel so confusing. You can feel caught off guard. The power differential makes a huge impact when it comes to advocating for yourself. You are trusting their knowledge and experience … so their words carry a lot of weight in your life. You can easily gaslight yourself “I am being silly, they are the experts”. Then sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know until after the fact. Meaning you don’t even know what the red flags would be because this is/was your first experience.

Many seek therapy or medical care to simply help t

Many seek therapy or medical care to simply help them manage their symptoms. Managing your symptoms is wise but you are selling your self short if you stop there.

Where is the anxiety stemming from? When does the depression get worse? Have you engaged in basic care: body movement, healthy eating patterns, sleep hygiene, social media breaks, healthy work schedule? Are your relationships healthy? Are you engaging in any addictive patterns? Are you happy with your current habits?

Do life with people who want to add nutrients to y

Do life with people who want to add nutrients to your soil instead of taking an axe to your trunk. Some hold an axe because of: jealousy, insecurity, envy, comparing, and competitiveness.

The love languages: physical touch, quality time,

The love languages: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gifts.

We typically have one dominating love language, and because it’s our dominating love language we can often function from that love language, sometimes missing the love language of another.

Know your love language while also learning the love language of your very very close others.

It takes wisdom and courage to close a door on a r

It takes wisdom and courage to close a door on a relationship. Sometime this can be a mutual agreement while other times it needs to be one sided.

When would I need to lock the door? In cases where there is safety issues, harm, or danger.

When you leave the door unlocked you can look through the peephole to see if there has been any change before opening the door.

Scapegoating is a learned maladaptive relational

Scapegoating is a learned maladaptive relational survival strategy. If you have ever experienced someone who engages in scapegoating you know how frustrating it can be. These individuals truly struggle to take responsibility for their actions. You cannot have a close relationship with someone who engages in scapegoating because they struggle with integrity which breaks trust. If you have someone in your life who engages in scapegoating you may need to set some internal and external boundaries.

If you are someone engages in scapegoating … you can learn other ways of being in relationships. You have choices. You can learn to sit with uncomfortable feelings and experiences.

It can be so hard to continue to engage in active

It can be so hard to continue to engage in active listening when you so badly want to defend yourself or when you want to make your case. Just because you are not interrupting or inserting yourself does not automatically mean you agree with what is being said … you are simply listening ☺️.

In healthy conversations you should also get a chance to share. When one person takes up all the airspace then that’s not a conversation … that’s someone speaking at you instead of “with you”.

You cannot please everyone … you will exhaust yo

You cannot please everyone … you will exhaust yourself trying. The cost of trying to please everyone, is losing yourself.

A relationship takes two people. For a reciprocal

A relationship takes two people. For a reciprocal relationship you need two people who are actively pursuing one another. What we are looking for here is “secure pursuing” instead of pursuing that comes from anxiety or people pleasing. Engaging in a relationship where you are the only one pursuing, can lead to you feeling lonely … you may find your self wanting to distance as this experience can feel unpleasant.

if this is happening in any of your relationships and you care about continuing to build that particular relationship it is worth bringing this up to the other person.

Be careful when you notice that you are “talking

Be careful when you notice that you are “talking yourself” into a relationship or “talking yourself” into staying in a relationship. Pause and ask yourself what you are trying not to look at, look at it, and then make an intentional decision with ALL the cards on the table.

We can truly miss bids of connection with our kids

We can truly miss bids of connection with our kids, spouses, partners, and friends when we are overly pre-occupied on our devices. Give attention to those in front of you.

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